"Mayakovsky was really fashionable for his time, in the 1920s... He wore these really cool-looking caps on his clean-shaven head. And he bore this smothering, intense gaze." He turns to look at me. "Just like you. You kind of look like him, you know."
dawn breaks
the first sober morning rays dissipate
the inebriation of the night before
and empty skies are finished
with yesterday's downpour
blow-dried highways run clean again
with no trace or stains of the past
as memories are swept away
from the beginnings to the very last
But when the realization finally hits you there and then that you are now a university student together with all the trappings of hellish homework, remote research, pernicious papers, murderous mid-terms, lascivious lovers, broken hearts, award-winning novels, late nights, rabid rumours and cranky (not to mention fucking loud) hostel neighbours, you will have all of three seconds to fully reconcile this thought with your rainsoaked peanut of a brain and your battered trainwreck of a soul before you go utterly insane.
I will somehow buy a cyanide pill soon. Keep it hidden somewhere in a drawer. I don't want concerned-looking people shoving crap in my face by telling me that they can't end my life when I'm half-dead with cancer one day.
Eisen: "Why is this grave cracked?"
Nigel [peers at it for a short while]: "I don't know."
Eisen: "Maybe the occupant inside wanted to get out."
Nigel: "I could see a little bit of the inside. It's hollow."
Eisen: "Oh, ok. Problem solved. The occupant inside already got out."
Nigel: "Ha."
Eisen: "Maybe it's somewhere around us now, and it wants to say hi."
Chris: "Whatever!"
Why don't I have faith? Can't I come back to God? Wrong. Free of the church, I feel closer to God than ever. And I think of Him, everyday, before I sleep, when I wake. I look at the wondrous world outside and I thank Him for making me a part of this amazing universe.
The world continues to spin nonetheless on its own cruel axis but holes must be dug, etches must be made, envelopes must be pushed. I want to push mine but I must push others too. Creation, liberation, destruction. These are processes that must be done at the right times and at the right places. The times are approaching, the places are arriving. Mine, and hers, too.
